Riding A ButterTub

I stumbled across THIS today and have only read 9,182 of the 10,000+ comments, so I’m not as up to date as I should be on it, but it should suffice to say that this shirt contains magic elixirs that stimulate the opposite sex. Not only does this work for men either ladies! Go ahead and purchase this shirt and you’ll likely have to beat off the opposite sex with a stick they’ll want you so bad. I kid you not; listen to some of these stellar reviews:

1. By overlook1977 (Raleigh, NC United States) –
Unfortunately I already had this exact picture tattooed on my chest, but this shirt is very useful in colder weather.

2. By T. Guymon “SonOfSpam” (Anaheim, CA) –
So I’m looking for threads that say, “Hey baby…I’m real boss!” when I stumble upon this epic creation. The wolves spoke to me in a language all their own; it was like German, Mongol, and Bitchin all mixed together. I mean, one wolf howlin at the moon is major…but three???

I ordered next-day air (if only there was same day!), and, of course, a size smaller than usual to ensure the closeness of the wolves to my chest hair. When the package arrived, I tore it open, and I SWEAR angels sang. I think it was Freebird. I immediately removed my “No Fat Chicks” shirt, and replaced it with this finery. Lemme tell you: AW YEAH.

3. By Mark Trollinger –
I read the hundreds of comments on this shirt and skeptically laughed thinking how crazy these guys were. Jokingly, I clicked the one click purchase. There is this girl that I have liked for two years and despite my repeated attempts, she has said no or was involved with someone else. Just the other day she called and asked if I was interested. Unbelievable! We are going out this week! I wondered to myself, what changed? Why now? Then it sunk in – THE FREAKIN’ WOLF SHIRT! Keep in mind I haven’t even received the shirt yet – still en route. That is just how powerful this shirt is! Believe me, you need this shirt! I can’t even imagine how crazy life will be when I receive this. I don’t know if I dare wear it to the gym because women will go crazy! This shirt is as powerful as advertised!

4. By W. Hayden (Ft. Worth, TX USA) –
Ahhh yes the Three Wolf Moon shirt. I have had 5 of these all in 7XL. Why 5? Well the first 4 were torn, no ripped from my body by ravaging women. When having my forth shirt ripped, no shredded from my body a cop was standing right there. She just stared at me with this hungry look on her face as the crime was being perpetrated. Outrageous!!!! I mean at least save the shirt if not me! I keep number 5 in a very safe place just in case they stop making them. Shhh don’t tell anyone.

I’ll spare the details of my conquests since I started wearing this shirt; suffice to say, I’m swimming in a sea of babes the likes of which are usually found on those K-Tel infomercials. I’m also more confident at work, and expect to be promoted to cashier soon. I owe everything to this shirt (I should say “shirts”, since I now own 23 of them).

5. By G. Smith (New York, NY, USA) –
Pros: It’s, amazing, this only works out at $5 per wolf – with the moon thrown in free! Yep, three awesome howling wolves and a free moon – who can argue with value like that, especially on unemployment benefits in these tough economic times.

Cons: One time at a party I spilled Natural Light Beer onto my upper-left wolf, and for a while it looked more like a howling collie than a wolf. It totally spoiled my mojo – I mean what chick wants to get with two-wolves and Lassie? I was pretty worried for a while but it all ended up okay in the end – my Mum washed it for me and I picked up two prime unwed-teenagers at the next party.

6. By Peary Perry -
The cold damp fog tries to grab at my ankles as I make my way down the darkened alley where I stop at the doorway marked only by a flickering blue lamp. I knock softly three times; wait for two seconds and then twice again. The spy hole immediately opens and I can feel myself being visibly searched from my head to my toes. I see the eyes catch a glimpse of my Three Wolf Moon Tee shirt and then just the barest of a smile. Seconds later, I hear the sound of several dead bolts being released and I am welcomed into a vibrant room full of beautiful people. Led to my table by a beautifully tantalizing Oriental woman wearing a thigh high cut dress, I am immediately set upon by servants trying to catch a glimpse of my famously designed shirt. I cannot begin to believe my good fortune at just being admitted into the famous Che Le Torche Cabaret in Algiers. No questions asked, no cards required…Just service with a smile and almost a sense of reverence or perhaps I should say… awe. I am on my second straight tequila, when I sense the presence of someone standing at the edge of my table. A tall thin man in a while silk suit wearing a Panama hat wordlessly hands me a card with just one word on it.. “Omar”. He asks if he might join me. I quickly judge this is a man to be reckoned with after noticing the long scar running from the edge of his mouth to his right ear.

“Why not? I reply.

Before the evening is finished I will have found not a friend, but a new business partner, who is destined to make me a very rich man.

The reason for my success?

Simple… Omar tells me that he could determine I was a man to be trusted and that he could rely upon because of my discriminating taste by owning and actually wearing a Three Wolf Moon tee shirt in public.

Life is very strange.

7. By Kenneth E. Krenzin “Kenny K” (Huntington Beach, CA) –
I wore this shirt while fishing in the Bahamas and I caught an Alaskan king crab.