Archive for the ‘funny news’ Category:
BREAKING NEWS: Canseco vs. Goatman
During a packed press conference, Jose Canseco and some grey haired dude announced Canseco’s second MMA fight would be against the legendary half-goat half-man know as Goatman (not to be confused with the half-man half-bear half-pig know as Manbearpig).
Canseco brings a fighting record of 0-2-1 to the match. Prior to losing his first MMA match against that giant South Korean guy, he lost a hard fought battle to Vai Sikahema and punched to a draw with the half-man half-douche bag known as Danny Bonaduce (a draw!! Come on Jose you are twice his size).
Goatman is of course 1-0 in his sanctioned fighting career, with the one victory coming years ago against the overmatched Korloin. He is desperately trying to get in the ring with Manbearpig and hopes the inevitable beating of Canseco will be a springboard.
Dates and locations have yet to be announced but we hear at RaBT will most definitely keep everyone current with future developments.
VS 
South Carolina is so Gay
The actual advertisement below is very rad. Not sure why South Carolinians would be upset.
On This Day, November 12, 1955 – Flux Capacitors Invented!
Save the ClockTower!
For near most of the first film, the 1.21 gigawatts were supplied by a plutonium-powered nuclear reactor and, with the absence of plutonium, a bolt of lightning channeled directly into the flux capacitor by a long pole and hook in the film’s climactic sequence.
Interesting notes: In Part II, for a brief point on November 12, 1955, there were three copies of the DeLorean at the same time, although never seen together. The first one was the one that the original Marty (his past “other self”) drove when he arrived on November 5. The second one was the one that Doc and Marty had when they returned to 1955. Finally, the third one was the one that Old Biff had stolen and brought back to 1955. Interestingly enough, Biff never really was shown how to work the time machine. There was another, fourth, DeLorean stored in the old mine (although not revealed until Part III), which was not there earlier in the day until after Doc Brown and the DeLorean were struck by lightning and sent back to 1885.
The DeLorean in the mine would have then appeared through the ripple-effect. Also, the parts they needed for the repairs to the damaged DeLorean could theoretically have been taken from the other DeLorean sealed in the mine for Marty to discover in the later years. However this would have created a paradox which would have prevented the Marty from ‘Part II’ from travelling back to 1885 in the first place, as the DeLorean he would have discovered in the mine with the 1955 Doc would have been stripped by their past (and future)selves.
Also, it is highly unlikely that the version of the car that is buried in the mine has any usable fluids (such as gasoline), since it is standard practice to drain out all fluids from a car before storing it for an extended period of time. (1955 Doc mentions that he “put gas in the tank”, implying that there was none there when the car was buried.)
The 2010 Funniest Posts of Web Comedy (aka “The Buttertubbers”)
So here’s the deal and we don’t know if we have the clout to make it work, but it has some pretty sweet possibilities for the best comedy around if we can swing it.
So the gist is that we’re shooting for the same layout as the NCAA basketball tournaments with approximately 64 teams (posts) that will battle to be the Funniest Web Post of 2010 and owner of the first ever Buttertubber award!
Yes, we said 2010 – If it is successful, we’ll do it again for 2011, but what we’re looking for is your FUNNIEST post you had in 2010. The most comments, the biggest laughs, the heaviest traffic for you. We’ll take all the posts and randomly match them up one against the other starting as soon as we have (ideally) 64 posts entered.
From there we’ll post match-ups daily between 2 post and the fans in the comments section will determine the winner. We’ll give it 24 hours from the first post to determining the winner. We’ll go from 12pm PST to 12pm PST the next day to leave voting open.
Do I have to give you my comedy to post on your site? Oh, absolutely not. That’s the point here, we’re giving you a backlink and sending people to your site to read your comical expertise. We’re just posting the links, you get the love!
Can’t I just vote for my post 1000 times and just rig it? I’m sure you can try, but we’re not completely lame, we can see what IP you’re commenting from. But that doesn’t mean you can’t tell all your friends and family to vote for you or if you have some magical hacking genius that can vote for you over and over again, I guess we can’t stop that, but let’s try to keep it honest.
What if you get more than 64 posts submitted? Welp, if we do, we’ll have to decide where to go from there. Maybe another mini-tourney or just increasing the 64 to [insert big number here].
What if you don’t get enough posts? Again, will have to play it by ear, but we imagine that we can still make a tourney with 20 or 30 posts as well. 64 just carries more weight and really, it doesn’t even have to be the top 64 as discussed above.
Can I submit more than one post? How many can I submit? Let’s just for starters say you can give us your “top 3″ and we’ll go from there. Ideally we’d have 1 post from several sites, but if the turnout is low we’re happy to make it work.
When does it all start then? Like we said, this is the first time we’ve tried this out and it may fall on its face, but in theory, it sounds like it’d be pretty fun and a pretty good traffic boost
Why do you want to participate in this? Well, aside from the free traffic you’ll get from the tourney, and the fact that you’ll be able to laugh at the funniest most commented pieces from across the web without trying to find them yourself, you’ll ALSO be in the competition for the loot at the end.
The loot you say? Do elaborate! That’s right – to make it even more exciting the champion of the web deserves to be recognized for their comical expertise. $100 will go to the winner in the form of their choice. An Amex gift card? Paypal? Amazon gift card? Something else that costs $100? You choose. You made us all laugh, you get your choice.
I live in [insert anywhere in the world]. Can I participate? Sure, as long as you can accept payments and it isn’t illegal in your area, we can send money ANYWHERE with Paypal!
How do I submit my stuff to you guys to participate? Use our CONTACT FORM and select “To Enter the 2008 ButterTubbers Contest!” from the dropdown and be sure to include:
The post name
The URL of the post
A quick 1 to 3 sentence intro to your post (which will be placed in each of your match-ups along the way – make it witty to catch the readers eye)!
What kind of comedy are you looking for? Are there any limits as to what I determine funny? Well, we’d like to be as close to PG-13 as we can. Read the stuff on here, if it is along similar lines, we’re cool. We will however reserve the right to refuse service to anyone if we think it too offensive to be associated with us and the contest.
Does it have to be any specific format? Nope. Whatever you think is funny that YOU created (or enhanced) and can post on your own site. We will just hold the link. If it isn’t working on your site, you may lose that game.
A lot of the stuff that you guys post is “borrowed” from around the web – how’s that work? That’s a key piece of the pie. If it is a funny video that someone else created, that’s not you. A funny image? Not you. HOWEVER – like we do on this site a lot, we write some witty phrases that enhance the image/video and add to it which will be accepted. The video/image alone (if not yours) will need some meat to it to make it better than the original work.
Are you guys participating? Nah – to keep it as clean as possible and free from any ideas of deception and theivery, we’ll be sitting it out and giving the pirate booty to the winner.
So when does it end? Welp, we’re kinda playing it by ear depending on the amount of entries we get – In theory if we get 64 entries (March Madness style), we’d play 3 matches per day (one day with two) for the first round taking a total of 11 days. 2 per day for the second and third round for a total of 12 days. Then 1 per day for the final 4 and championship 3 days. So again in theory depending on entries, the whole thing would last about 26 days…
When does it start? Once again, it’s a completely new idea for us like we said. Start sending us your posts IMMEDIATELY and we’ll pencil in a Feb. 5 start date (unless we only have 4 entries or so) to have entries submitted – you can have up to 3 of your posts in it, so start sending them to us in the format above now!
That’s it! Feel free to ask us any questions in the comments section or shoot us an email if you’ve got any more!
Afghan Bodybuilders
This is definitely a unique image if nothing else – I’ve not seen such a thing before. “Afghan men strike a pose during a national bodybuilding competition at a cinema hall in Kabul June 2, 2009. Hundreds of competitors entered the annual competition, organised by Afghanistan’s national Olympic organisation, to vie for the title of Mr. Afghanistan. (REUTERS/Omar Sobhani)”
Michael Jackson Was SUPPOSED To Look Like This At 40
…or so they thought!
Great Television
Good job Fox Business channel. Seems like a pretty well run show.
Canseco Beats Some Dude Up!
…ok, not really at all. He mostly got his ass kicked in 77 seconds, but I thought I’d post it myself before Pete or Fro slapped me with the email laughing me out of town.
Water + Fire = Awesome
I don’t quite understand why they need to shower with the lights off. That aside, their water is really badass.
News Bloopers are awesome
In an effort not to anger the blind or gays I will not make any offensive jokes right here. Just watch and enjoy.
(HT: The Soup Blog)
Tags: new blooper
