About
We were born as small black children (like Johnson, Navin R.) in remote villages around the world. Through the technology of tin-cans and really long strings we learned to communicate with each other to discuss world issues. Wars, politicians, sports, and cream-sicle flavors soon got to be tiresome for us so we decided to each start HUGE multi-million dollar corporations. The money was good, but it was kinda lame and not very challenging. So we began laundering money through them to fund our offshore hot-air balloon company that would transport monkeys to their favorite tropical locales.
This endeavor appeared to be our first downfall. We hadn’t used the power of foresight to realize that monkey’s rarely pay up on their debts and this ultimately led us to bankrupt each and every one of us by the age of 3.
Then, in the 1840’s we became cowboys and headed out west to California for the gold rush to remake our fortune. We had a wild invention to get there which we thought would put us on top of the world, but the Porcu-shoe (half porcupine/half shoe) didn’t take off as we’d thought it would and we ended up thumbing it out there, but we made it, so that was braggable.
Yea, that’s me in the middle there – I was packing on some weight after the frost of ’68.
During our stay in California, we agreed it was a good time to start blogging, but ran into issues creating the fiber-runs, data centers, internet, and some other nominal issues which we agreed wasn’t worth looting our gold mine money for. So we figured we’d put that on the back burner (little did we know Al Gore would undermine us later in life, more on this later) until we really started wrap our heads around this “sheep-skin condom” epidemic that was sweeping the western US at the time. We saw big money there.
From this brilliant revelation we started trading all our gold for sheep intestines. I know, smart, right? Yea, that’s what we thought, but as it turns out that was a bad idea since they just invented those crappy “ice block refrigerators” that you had to get new ice for to keep anything cold. Yea, combine that, living in SoCal at the time, and the fact that we spent all our gold money on sheep intestines, and all you’re left with is nasty-rotted-out-maggot-ridden-sheep guts.
So again we were on our own, and we were sent to… [exciting music]
To be continued…
