Archive for October, 2009:
The Cattle Guard
Thought up: 3.24.02 – 6:24pm
Written: 3.24.02 – 11:45 pm
So yesterday I was driving along in between White Sulphur and Harlowton, Montana, and I saw this cow standing OUTSIDE one of the many cattle guards, and I got to thinking, “did she just JUMP over that cattle guard to get to that green grass on the other side?” Cause many times that is the greener stuff. And if she did, why didn’t she teach all those other stupid cows that are still eating all that grass on the regular side that they poop in all day to jump it?
Or maybe she’s the Michael Jordan of cows or some such, and maybe I should call up the owner of this cow and tell him that maybe it wouldn’t be such a good idea to butcher this cow. She has some real talent, but she probably wouldn’t perform in front of people, just like trick animals never do, like that cartoon I remember when I was little where a man found a singing frog, but the frog would only sing when nobody was watching, and the man spent his life savings on this frog to promote him, and all the frog did in front of people was croak.
Boy, I bet he felt sheepish in front of people, and that’s not what I’d want the cow owner to feel, so maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to tell the cow owner about his magnificent cow. Perhaps though the cow owner would appreciate me scaring the cow back over to the other side of the inept cattle guard, but then I got to thinking again, “What if that cow got her leg stuck in the guard THIS time? And the cow’s leg got injured really badly, and the man had to kill the cow anyway. Boy, Mr. Badluck would be getting 2 birds with one stone cause not only would he be getting rid of that Michael Jordan cow, but Badluck would also have it that I’d have to pay the man cause I tried to save his splendid cow.
Quite frankly, I didn’t think it was worth it, but for that 30 seconds, I really thought hard about it. Good thing I talked some sense into myself. Stupid cattle guards…
It’s BodyBuilding, Not Dancing With The Stars
Seriously dude? That’s all you got? 
Contest! Win Money Here Today!
If you can tell me how many times this guy flips through the $100 bills, you win that amount of money!
Twitter Weekly Updates for 2009-10-25
- Funniest post of the day: Twitter Weekly Updates for 2009-10-18 – http://bit.ly/sXZGK #
- Awesome photo of the day: http://bit.ly/3bBfui #
- @jdushin – TOTALLY important, but you made me scroll through like 28235 images of old people. in reply to jdushin #
- @jdushin – and dude, once I DID find it, you need to show off the writeup mention: http://bit.ly/3wKoUC in reply to jdushin #
- @jdushin – ha, priceless, eh? That photo looks pretty old. That was a while ago! in reply to jdushin #
- Funniest post of the day: Shave Your Baby! – http://bit.ly/4v8b8b #
- Funniest post of the day: The Cat That Betrayed His Girlfriend Cat – http://bit.ly/4jNQpg #
- Funniest post of the day: The Boys Town Gang – Completely Straight, Possibly. – http://bit.ly/1J2ebB #
- RT @tillo13: http://bit.ly/2XBRqw
– This is why you’re fat – for @tiwyf # - RT @sliptide:22 spins so far! Vote for my #Tiesto #remix -not your usual 4onthefloor,matches E. Haines(of @metric )well-http://bit.ly/2mpJF2 #
- Funniest post of the day: A Love Song About Horses – http://bit.ly/dYgZS #
- RT @CodyPatrick: marital troubles in the cat world aren’t any more civil or less awkward http://tinyurl.com/yg8b46a **thanks for the RT!!*** #
- Awesome photo of the day: http://bit.ly/1sk6mi #
- @HallelujahLOL – it’s easy to find if you look! in reply to HallelujahLOL #
- @yogasanctuary – thanks for the RT! in reply to yogasanctuary #
- I’m Not Sure I Know What This Means – http://bit.ly/NtT3z #
Monkeys Have No Discretion
I’m a fan of monkeys, cars, safaris, and doing it, but combining them is a bad idea.
A Love Song About Horses
And also about the “old ‘n days”…
The Cat That Betrayed His Girlfriend Cat
She appears to be angry…
Tags: cats
Twitter Weekly Updates for 2009-10-18
- Funniest post of the day: Twitter Weekly Updates for 2009-10-11 – http://bit.ly/hPEQc #
- Funniest post of the day: Gymnastic Skills – http://bit.ly/36lFGN #
- @carezykoko – that depends… why are you asking?
in reply to carezykoko # - Awesome photo of the day: http://bit.ly/14GiMN #
- Funniest post of the day: Marty’s Burnt Easter Ham – http://bit.ly/2HStgn #
- all I got here is Wow: DUI Couple Used 13-year-old as Designated Driver http://bit.ly/83SZq #
- RT @jdushin: I think the one word he misspelled is the easiest word to spell on his sign: http://bit.ly/46MxNp (via @TheHelenaIR) #
- Awesome photo of the day: http://bit.ly/42DW0C #
- RT @tillo13@statfame: When is @espn(boo!) going to follow suit with @nbc (yay!) (http://bit.ly/nM4Tz) and show Monday Night Football online? #
- Funniest post of the day: Possibly The Best Version of Peanut Butter Jelly Time – http://bit.ly/19ihix #
- Funniest post of the day: Lisa Simpson, Giving It Up Too Early – http://bit.ly/B4Rrg #
- Shame on @wellsfargo RT @hank_MiB: New Blog Post @ the MiB: I’m Sick of WellsFargo and GreenTree -My Loan ReMod Story – http://bit.ly/3uuPct #
- @jdushin – Good grief… Good thing at least SOMEONE was watching… in reply to jdushin #
- Funniest post of the day: Anyone Else Have 2 Turntables? How About a Microphone? – http://bit.ly/2w8M79 #
- Why You Don’t Want Your Parents on Facebook – http://bit.ly/4AzwXt #
- Giving Buttertub Some Competition! http://bit.ly/KqVZx #
- Funniest post of the day: You’re In Trouble Emily – http://bit.ly/2WqZrM #
- Funniest post of the day: The Athiest Goat – http://bit.ly/2HH0tv #
Possibly The Best Version of Peanut Butter Jelly Time
This is where Gary made his big debut and was discovered by Srise who catapulted him to the fame he enjoys today…
Gymnastic Skills
I think the odds of this happening again are worse than winning the lottery. Nicely played girl…
