Archive for October, 2009:
The Cattle Guard
Thought up: 3.24.02 – 6:24pm
Written: 3.24.02 – 11:45 pm
So yesterday I was driving along in between White Sulphur and Harlowton, Montana, and I saw this cow standing OUTSIDE one of the many cattle guards, and I got to thinking, “did she just JUMP over that cattle guard to get to that green grass on the other side?” Cause many times that is the greener stuff. And if she did, why didn’t she teach all those other stupid cows that are still eating all that grass on the regular side that they poop in all day to jump it?
Or maybe she’s the Michael Jordan of cows or some such, and maybe I should call up the owner of this cow and tell him that maybe it wouldn’t be such a good idea to butcher this cow. She has some real talent, but she probably wouldn’t perform in front of people, just like trick animals never do, like that cartoon I remember when I was little where a man found a singing frog, but the frog would only sing when nobody was watching, and the man spent his life savings on this frog to promote him, and all the frog did in front of people was croak.
Boy, I bet he felt sheepish in front of people, and that’s not what I’d want the cow owner to feel, so maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to tell the cow owner about his magnificent cow. Perhaps though the cow owner would appreciate me scaring the cow back over to the other side of the inept cattle guard, but then I got to thinking again, “What if that cow got her leg stuck in the guard THIS time? And the cow’s leg got injured really badly, and the man had to kill the cow anyway. Boy, Mr. Badluck would be getting 2 birds with one stone cause not only would he be getting rid of that Michael Jordan cow, but Badluck would also have it that I’d have to pay the man cause I tried to save his splendid cow.
Quite frankly, I didn’t think it was worth it, but for that 30 seconds, I really thought hard about it. Good thing I talked some sense into myself. Stupid cattle guards…
It’s BodyBuilding, Not Dancing With The Stars
Seriously dude? That’s all you got? 
Contest! Win Money Here Today!
If you can tell me how many times this guy flips through the $100 bills, you win that amount of money!
Comic Book Guy Has a Child!
She’s cute, absolutely, but the glasses remind me of the Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons.
Twitter Weekly Updates for 2009-10-25
- Funniest post of the day: Twitter Weekly Updates for 2009-10-18 – http://bit.ly/sXZGK #
- Awesome photo of the day: http://bit.ly/3bBfui #
- @jdushin – TOTALLY important, but you made me scroll through like 28235 images of old people. in reply to jdushin #
- @jdushin – and dude, once I DID find it, you need to show off the writeup mention: http://bit.ly/3wKoUC in reply to jdushin #
- @jdushin – ha, priceless, eh? That photo looks pretty old. That was a while ago! in reply to jdushin #
- Funniest post of the day: Shave Your Baby! – http://bit.ly/4v8b8b #
- Funniest post of the day: The Cat That Betrayed His Girlfriend Cat – http://bit.ly/4jNQpg #
- Funniest post of the day: The Boys Town Gang – Completely Straight, Possibly. – http://bit.ly/1J2ebB #
- RT @tillo13: http://bit.ly/2XBRqw
– This is why you’re fat – for @tiwyf # - RT @sliptide:22 spins so far! Vote for my #Tiesto #remix -not your usual 4onthefloor,matches E. Haines(of @metric )well-http://bit.ly/2mpJF2 #
- Funniest post of the day: A Love Song About Horses – http://bit.ly/dYgZS #
- RT @CodyPatrick: marital troubles in the cat world aren’t any more civil or less awkward http://tinyurl.com/yg8b46a **thanks for the RT!!*** #
- Awesome photo of the day: http://bit.ly/1sk6mi #
- @HallelujahLOL – it’s easy to find if you look! in reply to HallelujahLOL #
- @yogasanctuary – thanks for the RT! in reply to yogasanctuary #
- I’m Not Sure I Know What This Means – http://bit.ly/NtT3z #
Monkeys Have No Discretion
I’m a fan of monkeys, cars, safaris, and doing it, but combining them is a bad idea.
I’m Not Sure I Know What This Means
If it’s a place where you can have your child, I’m freaked out. If it’s a place where babies run naked, I’m freaked out. But if it’s a place where I can buy a baby bear, I’m down. 
A Love Song About Horses
And also about the “old ‘n days”…