Archive for May, 2009:
Twitter Weekly Updates for 2009-05-31
- gonna see if i can golf under 70 today… on 9 holes. i would say 50/50 odds… #
- Time for some funny: Twitter Weekly Updates for 2009-05-24 – http://bit.ly/104BsJ #
- Awesome photo of the day: http://bit.ly/PyvAq #
- woke up early to drive 30 miles and surprised the kids and wife with breakfast. got there, ordered, no wallet.
# - Time for some funny: This Would NEVER Happen In America – http://bit.ly/n2Qqt #
- Time for some funny: Apparently His Brother Is A Bad Bad Boy – http://bit.ly/r3bX6 #
- when will people learn that reply-to-all stating ‘please remove me’ is just exacerbating the situation? who ever decided that would work? #
- on a spam email thread today with about 3000 others that think the answer to get off the list is replying to all saying to take them off! #
- Time for some funny: Canseco Beats Some Dude Up! – http://bit.ly/VfwAr #
- Awesome photo of the day: http://bit.ly/sFmWf #
- Time for some funny: Deep Thoughts Thursday #40 – http://bit.ly/jEd4X #
- Time for some funny: Types Of Facebook Friends – What Type Are You? – http://bit.ly/L5whF #
- @Jae_lo82 – I know, right? Love it! in reply to Jae_lo82 #
- Time for some funny: Maybe Online Dating Isn’t For Everyone – http://bit.ly/oQZ3M #
- WTF is with the Coors Light “blue mountains” showing your can is cold. What, don’t I have hands that I can “feel” if the can is cold? #
- Time for some funny: BREAKING NEWS: Canseco vs. Goatman – http://bit.ly/18SRwf #
BREAKING NEWS: Canseco vs. Goatman
During a packed press conference, Jose Canseco and some grey haired dude announced Canseco’s second MMA fight would be against the legendary half-goat half-man know as Goatman (not to be confused with the half-man half-bear half-pig know as Manbearpig).
Canseco brings a fighting record of 0-2-1 to the match. Prior to losing his first MMA match against that giant South Korean guy, he lost a hard fought battle to Vai Sikahema and punched to a draw with the half-man half-douche bag known as Danny Bonaduce (a draw!! Come on Jose you are twice his size).
Goatman is of course 1-0 in his sanctioned fighting career, with the one victory coming years ago against the overmatched Korloin. He is desperately trying to get in the ring with Manbearpig and hopes the inevitable beating of Canseco will be a springboard.
Dates and locations have yet to be announced but we hear at RaBT will most definitely keep everyone current with future developments.
VS 
Types Of Facebook Friends – What Type Are You?
1. The EVERY-Friender: This person will stop at nothing to have the most possible friends. Your ex-wife’s best friend’s dog’s sister? Sure! Add them to the list! There is no friend of a friend of a friend left safe in this scenario; odds are you’ve got 3 or 4 of these in your list. Seriously, it’s not a high-school popularity contest, friend your friends, don’t friend your “kinda-friends”, it’s weird.
2. The Stalker: The only reason this person is on here is to get a chance to see some of your photos or updates. This person can come in many forms, but usually seems to be in the form of an invite to friend them, but with no personal message or anything. This person also may try to sign up under a fictitious name that is very vague to fool you into believing they’re a real person you may know, and not want to upset by not friending.
3. The Promoter: I don’t mind a promotion or 2 from your business to stir up some interest – hey, it’s a good place to promote, but when you post 10 or 15 links to the products your selling per day, you’re not helping anyone, you just spamming them, and I can assure you they don’t like it. I’m thankful for the “hide user” button on the feeds. That way you can ignore them without actually de-friending them.
4. The Prolific Tester: I like a test or 2 to tell me my “5 Favorite Sodas”, or even “Who Would Play Me In a Movie” – but when you’re taking tests that give “Your Most Closely Psychically Related Mazatlan Grass”, we may be going over the edge. My news feed can only handle so many tests before I start to not care about them so much. They need to make a tool in Facebook that can “block lame tests” alongside the “hide users from feed” function.
5. The “Only-Comment-On-The-Hot/Popular-Chicks/Guys-Posts Commenter”: Dude, you’re not going to get laid from these ladies/men. You can comment all you want on their posts, but all you’re doing is annoying them, and probably creeping them out. So if you’re gonna comment on their posts telling them they “look good” or they’re “so funny” – then do it with some discretion, and might I recommend spreading out the love to some other folks as well so it doesn’t look as creepy when your whole wall just says “commented on (insert hot chick/guys name here) post” – That’s scary.
6. The Funny Friend: This one actually can be a good one to have in your repertoire as you’ll get a lot of good “zings” out of this person and you may find yourself laughing at in-opportune times. Their sole purpose on the site is to make others laugh. They do a good job of it. Try to stockpile these people, you can’t have enough of these.
7. The I-Make-A-Fan-Club-For-Everything Poster: It’s cool to promote your site or blog or whatever with a quick one-time shout out to give your site some love, I did it. But when you’re asking every 2 or 3 days for me to become a fan of “toilets” or something, I don’t really want to be a fan anymore. I can only be a fan of so many things, and my fan-inocity is running low. I’d certainly be a fan of “you stop sending me fan-of posts”.
8. The Always-Poster: How can you possibly have enough time in the day to post as much as you do to Facebook? Don’t you have a job? That’s great that you just got a coffee at 9:10am and then are bored at 9:13am, but I thought you’d be happier when you won the lottery at 9:17am, but then it all went downhill when you got your leg run over by a car at 9:23am. Why the eff are you writing Facebook at 9:25am telling us that you’re writhing in pain? Don’t you have writhing to do?!?!? Put the phone down and writhe for a bit. Might do you some good and will allow you to see oncoming traffic better.
9. The New Age Internet Perma-slanger: Srsly, I cnt imgn how u usd 2 cmmt b4. i cn brly undrstnd WTF u r talking bout. LOL iz all i git nemore. This may just be a sign that I’m getting old and starting to rag on the next generation, but still worthy of being noted in the Types of Facebook Friends.
10. The Chronic Sympathizer: I get you, I can side with you on Darfur and Iraq. I don’t like pollution, world hunger, or war, but that’s all you talk about. Weren’t we friends in elementary school? Didn’t you beat me in marbles and then laugh at me about it? Come on, loosen up and talk about something else in your life. You’re kinda being a buzz-kill on the feed.
11. The Awesome Party Poster: Yea, you go to a lot of parties, I get it. But if you have time at each of those to actually take time out of it to post that you’re a a huge party and ripping it up, then my guess is that it isn’t THAT cool of a party if you have time to step out and let people know that you just took a body shot. Trust me, if it were that cool, you wouldn’t feel the need to tell people that aren’t there how cool you are.
Deep Thoughts Thursday #40
Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I’ll go over to the persons house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I’m gone, but you know what I’ve left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of it’s head with a note that says “You.” After that I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done.
Canseco Beats Some Dude Up!
…ok, not really at all. He mostly got his ass kicked in 77 seconds, but I thought I’d post it myself before Pete or Fro slapped me with the email laughing me out of town.
This Would NEVER Happen In America
EMBED-Female Reporter Hit With Ball
It’d never happen here because nobody knows what soccer is.
Twitter Weekly Updates for 2009-05-24
- You’ll likely laugh at this: Bernard Had A Sense Of Humor – http://bit.ly/gvlly #
- A good day to watch a baseball game – I remember those days of actually being able to PLAY in them too – how time flies, eh? #
- @Meganmonique – I’d vote for Randolph, or maybe Petrie.
in reply to Meganmonique # - @CTRaider – screw monitors! Look into a high def projector. I love mine and watch HD movies at 12 foot.
in reply to CTRaider # - You’ll likely laugh at this: Women, Know Your Place! – http://bit.ly/9vNmp #
- Awesome photo of the day: http://bit.ly/XRPfo #
- You’ll likely laugh at this: The Latest SNL Celebrity Jeopardy (Gifford, Hanks, Connery) – http://bit.ly/aqxZ8 #
- If God is so powerful how come it took him 7 days to create the world? I saw the genie in Aladdin spin worlds around 4 or 5 at a time! #
- You’ll likely laugh at this: The Finer Art Of Wood Identification – http://bit.ly/3I50A #
- You’ll likely laugh at this: What Happens When You Microwave Your Cell Phone? – http://bit.ly/cuquj #
- You’ll likely laugh at this: Funny Prank Call To Mom – http://bit.ly/3KeKQ #
- Notice when cds get sucked back in the slot? I always make sure to win these battles in hopes it will prove my value when machines take over #
- 10 years ago, Twitter didn’t exist. 10 years before that,didn’t have the Web.Who knows what jobs will exist in 10 more? http://bit.ly/19ayZ4 #
- You’ll likely laugh at this: Deep Thoughts Thursday #39 – http://bit.ly/j1VsT #
- Kid steals a head to make a bong out of a skull – sentenced to a few years in jail, but to be a moron forever: http://bit.ly/9sQkO #
- Time for some funny: It’s 15 Meals All Rolled Into One! – http://bit.ly/MeZ8L #
- Time for some funny: Nothing Sticks Out In My Mind… – http://bit.ly/U4gkO #
- Awesome photo of the day: http://bit.ly/a3qPi #
- small towners only complain about big town traffic because they only visit on the holidays is my guess. right now traffic is not good! #
- Time for some funny: Large Problems Happen When Large Women Dance On Things Not Designed For Them To Dance On – http://bit.ly/7Jmrg #
- Time for some funny: Try Out The New Shii Gaming Station – http://bit.ly/dKrw #
